


The memories

by LucaHyuga



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Afghanistan, Anxiety, M/M, PTSD, Torture, Triggers, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-02-29 12:31:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18778354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucaHyuga/pseuds/LucaHyuga
Summary: Tony's past starts to catch up to him. All the problems he didn't face build up on him until he finally breaks. His boyfriend, Steve, naturally worries about him and tries to help him in anyway he can.





	1. Chapter 1

~~"Jo hawwe my net ferteld dat de persoan dy't jo woe dat hy te deadzje, wie Tony Stark."~~   ~~Tony stared at the camera. A gun placed against his head. The pain. The pain in his chest as shrapnel decided it wanted to burrow its way towards his heart. "Dit is de keapman fan 'e dea. Wy kinne him brûke." Tony had no idea what they were saying. He just knew the position he was in. This position was bad. He gathered he was still in Afghanistan, though he couldn't be certain. "Wy sille him brûke om de Jericho-missile te meitsjen" and then the camera was turned off.~~

Tony sat up in his bed. Sweat dripping from him. He wiped his head. His boyfriend, Steve was laid next to him. Steve put his hand on Tony's and looked at him softly.

"Are you okay, baby?" he asked. He sat up and looked at Tony. Tony just wiped more sweat from his forehead. "Tony?"

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" Tony was trying to change the conversation, but Steve wasn't having that. He put his hands on his shoulders.

"Well, yeah. Don't change the subject though." Steve rubbed his shoulders. "What was your dream about?" he asked. Tony shook his head like it didn't matter. They both laid back down. Tony's head rested on the soft bit of skin between Steve's chest and Steve's armpit. He was comfortable. Steve gently ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair.

~~The man stared at him. "Ik wol dat jo de missile bouwe. De Jericho-Missile dy't jo presintearre hawwe oan it Amerikaanske leger." Tony didn't understand a word that was being said, but his companion did. He held onto the car battery, which was currently keeping him alive, tightly. "They want you to build the missile. The Jericho-Missile that you presented to the American army earlier." Tony didn't know how they had found out about that. He didn't much care. He didn't want his weapons to be used in the wrong way. "I refuse" he said.~~

~~~~~~~~Steve wasn't an idiot. He knew Tony was struggling. Tony struggled with a lot of things. Sleep was a massive one of those things. But he never told Steve anything. It hurt him a little bit. He felt like Tony never trusted him, but he knew that wasn't true. Tony trusted Steve more than he trusted anybody else. He had even agreed to move into the males room with him.

The next morning Tony was beating himself over what had happened. He felt guilty for waking up Steve in the middle of the night and it showed in his body language and face.

"I thought I was over that." He mumbled, hoping Steve didn't hear him. The pair had gone into the kitchen to get some much needed coffee.

"Over what." Steve had heard him. Of course Steve had heard him.

"Doesn't matter."Tony drank his coffee, hoping to stay silent.

"Tell me." Steve was persistant. Tony knew he wasn't going to get through the day without Steve nagging him to tell him what was wrong unless he told him. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

"My time in Afghanistan." He said. He didn't need to say any more. Steve knew very well that the two months that Tony was in Afghanistan was hell. But he thought he was over it as well. Clearly not. 

Tony went for a bath after his coffee, in hopes that he could calm down. It was a promise he made to Steve. If he was stressed or upset, then he would try to get rid of the negative feelings in a nice, hot bath before going to his lab. Going to the lab meant that Tony would not eat or sleep for a few days. He'd zone out and would drink only coffee and alcohol. It was not healthy for him.

He sunk down into the water and closed his eyes, his body beginning to relax.

~~The water filled his lungs, going in through his nose and mouth. Tony thrashed around trying to get free. A soldiers hand holding his head firmly in place under the water. He couldn't breathe. He was drowning. They pulled him out of the water and asked him to make the missile again. Tony said "no" through gasps of air. He was trying to breathe again. The 'no' just warented his head to go back under the water. Waterboarding was such a primative way to torture someone but it was really effective. Tony had said no about 7 times before his lungs had started to burn and he felt like he was going to die. He was probably going to die anyway. "Stop. I yeild!" he yelled. "I will do it!"~~

~~~~Tony had started to sink in the bath. He opened his eyes and quickly got out of the water, trying to avoid it. A towel wrapped around him tightly. He curled up in the corner of the room, staring at the tub full of water and shaking. He had never reacted to the memory of Afghanistan this way before. He put his head in his knees and let out a cry. It was a cry for help.


	2. Chapter 2

Nobody came. Tony had to calm down on his own. He wasn't in Afghanistan any longer. He didn't need to worry. Afghanistan was in the past. He stood up and left the bathroom. He felt uncomfortable, but no one was around. Steve wasn't even around, and that's what hurt him most because he needed Cap to be here right now.

~~Tony managed to escape. But now he was wandering aimlessly around a desert trying to find some hope. He'd just seen someone die for him. That was his fault. The sun burned his eyes. His chest hurt. The shining light which was now keeping him alive continued to glow and then he got seen. Rhodey had found him. "Next time, you ride with me." Rhodey told him. He laughed it off but it is because he never rode with Rhodey that this had happened. He felt guilty.~~

Tony got dressed and looked around. 'Where is Steve?' he thought. Steve had gone out for a run earlier when they woke and hadn't returned. Usually, that meant he had a mission. And a mission meant Tony was alone. The bath hadn't calmed him so that meant he'd be heading to the lab.

He went into the lab and pulled up the plans for his new suit. He sighed looking at them. He had time to work on that. He put away the plans and then pulled up the plans for something to help Steve. It would be a surprise for him. He wanted to make sure that his shield never got lost and he also wanted to make him a head set which would be attached to his clothes. The headset would monitor his breathing and his fitness, meaning he could take it on his runs every morning and track his progress. Not that Steve needed to progress any more. 

~~Tony laid out on his sofa. A high pitched squeal attacking his ear drums making them bleed. He turned pale. Obidiah stood over him. A menacing grin on his face. "This," he held up the arc reactor, which he had just taken from Tony's chest. "This is your legacy. Imagine how many weapons we will be able to make with this at its core." Tony looked at the arc reactor. The shrapnel going towards his heart in a rapid way now, with no electro maget to stop it. He was watching the man he looked up to betray him, but he was also dying.~~

~~~~Tony smacked his head a few times before getting back to work. He had loud music blasting throughout the tower, and no one there to stop it. Until Steve came back. He turned the music down and walked into the lab.

"Please don't turn down my music" Tony said, focusing soley on the work in front of him.

"Tony. What happened to getting a bath first when something was bothering you?" Steve asked.

"Nothings bothering me. And I tried a bath." Two sentences which just contradicted themselves. Tony looked at Steve.

~~Tony was being thrown around. And if he wasn't being thrown around then he was being crushed. He flew up to get away from Obi and then Obi followed. They went to maximum altitude. Tony knew Obi would freeze up, and when the older man fell from the sky, Tony thought he had won. Then he fell from the sky, well he was running on emergency backup power. He started to take the armour off when Obi came back. After removing his targetting system, Obi shot missiles at Tony. "Hold still, you little prick" he said and missed again. Tony yelled desperately for Pepper to overload the reactor beneath him, but she was refusing because he'd die. Eventually she did it and he had beaten Obi. He nearly died doing it though.~~

~~~~Steve had rushed to Tony, who had curled up on the floor while rememberig the events which had turned him into a superhero. The soldier stroked the billionaires hair.

"Tony. Tony are you okay?" He asked frantically.

"I'm fine." He said and got up. Only to be lifted off the floor by Steve and carried out of the room. "What are you doing? I said I was fine."

"Friday, call Pepper." Steve said. Suddenly Tony didn't want to be near Steve. He was going to make him talk to Pepper. Pepper hated him, she was nasty to him over what happened in their relationship. And it's not like he even did anything wrong. He didn't cheat on her or anything like that. Honestly, she left because he was having nightmares and waking her up every night. It was making her grouchy and snappy. And eventually, neither of them could take it anymore and they had a fight. Years of dating went down the toilet because Tony has nightmares. Luckily for Tony, Steve took him in and fixed him up. That's how he ended up dating the super soldier.

"Please don't make me do this." Tony mumbled. Pepper had been signalled and was on her way. Tony didn't want to face her. She'd make him tell her what was going on in his head, and it would make things worse because what happened included her. He became a superhero to protect her. She was the one who made him get the plane to Afghanistan. She was there watching when he cancelled the weapons manifacuring in the company. She was on call to him when Obi took the arc reactor from his chest. She was there throughout the fight between him and Obi. She was a jinx to be honest. And Tony didn't want to face her.


End file.
